Life in Hell
by Creating Myths
Summary: Basically one giant AU of X- no magic, no End of the World, no dragons. Just the kids in the Real World. Thus Life in Hell. Ch. One Up!
1. Prologue

Life in Hell

By: Lizzie-chan, the Self-Proclaimed Kitsune-yasha

Inspiration: All those fics in the infamous Sith Academy 

Credit: CLAMP owns 'em, I put 'em in weird situations. Oh, and the Sith Academy deserves much credit for the idea, since it's similar to what they did to the Star Wars Universe.

Declarations: I AM YOUR…

Prologue: This is Hell

Hell is a place where bad people go when they die. That is what parents and Sunday school teachers tell children when asked about the subject. According to the Catholic Church, Hell is separation from God, as consequence from mortal sin that had not been repented. Hell is where the damned are located. The Protestants have a similar belief, minus or plus a few things here and there. The Muslims believe that Hell is where sinners and unbelievers spend eternity. This isn't so different from the dogmatic belief that some of the more mainstream Protestant Christian denominations hold. The Hindu and Buddhist hells are more like the Catholic's Purgatory; they are not the final place of dwelling, but they are places of punishment. Overall, Hell is a bad place. You do not want to go to Hell.

Ignore all of that. Ignore popular religion, what your Sunday school teacher taught you, and what your parents told you to scare you into being pious. Disregard Dante's nine circles and Milton's version of Hell. It's wrong. Every single word, every single dogmatic belief, everything. 

Hell is what one makes it. You could be in Hell right now and you would never know. All you would know is that your life sucked and that there were no blue skies in sight for miles around. In your Hell, you would get up everyday, do the same routines with the same people, come home to your lonely life, and wish every night as you lay in bed how much you wanted it all to be different. Or it could be opposite. Who knows? It's your Hell. But remember, even in Hell, there is Hope.

**************

That's Prologue. Short, I know, but it had to be brief. 

The stories here are for the most part unrelated, except for maybe some events mentioned here and there. It's X/1999 without the End of the World, without the magic, without the "night jobs". Everybody's lives are normal…well, sort of. But that doesn't mean their lives are good and happy. Heh. That would be far from the truth. 

I took creative liberties to include some characters from other series. Example, Hokuto. Yes, she's in here. She never died. Otherwise, it wouldn't be normal. 

These stories follow around Subaru mostly. That's why the title is "Life in Hell". It would have followed around Kamui, but after what I've done with him, I don't think his life would be too bad. There is shounen-ai and yaoi in these stories, so if you're not a fan of such things, don't read (but I don't think that will be the case…if you didn't like or mind yaoi/shounen-ai, you wouldn't be a fan of the X/1999 manga).

Read. Enjoy. Review.


	2. Job-Hunting

Life in Hell

By: Lizzie-chan, the Self-Proclaimed Kitsune-yasha

Inspiration: All those fics in the infamous Sith Academy 

Credit: CLAMP owns 'em, I put 'em in weird situations. Oh, and the Sith Academy deserves much credit for the idea, since it's similar to what they did to the Star Wars Universe.

Declarations: I'm evil. 

Chapter One: Job-Hunting

It was going to be a strange day. When one wakes up with one hand cuffed to the bedpost and the sticky residue of ice cream on their chest, it's definitely a strange day. Of course, the keys to the handcuffs were on the far side of the nightstand, perfectly out of reach, but that offered Subaru Sumeragi no consolidation. He had to be at work in thirty minutes. 

Luckily, not far from the alarm clock, which was in reach, there was a small hairpin, conveniently placed there by the one who did this to him. The obvious options were (1) pick the lock with the hairpin or (2) use the hairpin to slowly and painstakingly pull the key by the loop in the top (which was unfortunately the farthest part on the key from Subaru) until it was in reach, then use the key to unlock the handcuffs. It should be noted that Subaru couldn't pick locks, and furthermore, the hairpin was a cheap hairpin, flimsy and weak. Subaru twisted his body in his attempt to reach the key with the hairpin. '_Sadistic bastard_' he growled mentally, taking note not to meet the "sadistic bastard" for a pint in the bar anymore. 

In the other room, the phone rang. And rang. And rang. Then the answering machine clicked on. After the rather typical message, telling the caller that he was not there or unable to answer the phone (which was more or less the case now) and to "leave a message and I'll get back to you", a familiar voice began to talk.

"Hello, Subaru-kun," it said. "I trust by now that you are up and trying to get out of the handcuffs as it is thirty minutes before you have to be at work. Just wanted to call to tell you that last night was fun. Maybe we should do it again some other time."

"When Hell freezes over," Subaru grumbled aloud.

The message went on. "Of course, you're never going to get out of those handcuffs in time with the tactic you're using now. Word of advice: twist your body the farthest you can twist it. It may hurt but you'll eventually reach the key. Of course you may be a bit sore for the rest of the day, but aren't you already? Last night was a wild night, after all."

Subaru could imagine the smirk on the caller's face right now. "You bastard!" he yelled.

"Such harsh words, Subaru-kun!" The voice sounded very condescending. 

Subaru growled. "You're watching me now, aren't you?"

The voice laughed. "Of course! And I'm taking pictures, too, for my own…_personal_ collection." 

Subaru groaned. The curtains were open; that's how the caller was able to take the pictures. No telling who else was watching him or had seen him struggle naked in bed. Well, not quite naked. There was a thin sheet just barely covering the lower half of his body. There was probably some communication device, like a walkie-talkie or one of those baby monitors, in his room as well. That's how the other man could hear him and have a conversation. Overall, it was humiliating.

"Don't you have a life or a job or something?" Subaru asked. "Is the only pleasure in your life embarrassing me whenever we go out?"

There was a laugh. "You know the answer to the first question, and you should know that the clinic doesn't open till nine, whereas your job starts at eight thirty. It's eight ten now, Subaru-kun. Twenty minutes to get out of the cuffs and into the shower. Dried, sticky ice cream is not a good thing to have on you all day."

Subaru made an uncharacteristic and rather rude gesture with his free hand, consisting of one finger. He nearly lost the hairpin in the process, but it felt good to do that.

The man on the phone line found in very amusing. "I'm glad this camera has zoom!" he declared. "Well, as fun as it has been taking pictures of you AND videotaping you-" Subaru sweatdropped- "I have to be going. You know how traffic can be!" 

There was a click. The machine stopped recording. Subaru silently cursed Seishirou Sakurazuka, and went back to trying to reach the key with the flimsy hairpin. 

****************

It's amazing what a person can do when they are under pressure, as so demonstrated by Subaru. It took him another five minutes to get the key, unlock the cuffs and scramble out of bed, dragging the sheet with him so that all of Tokyo wouldn't see him in his birthday suit. Five minutes later, he had showered as fast as he could, thrown on a suit, and was out the door, running down the street to the metro station to catch the next train. He would be fifteen minutes late to work, but he could sneak in without a problem. Well, that would have been the case if he hadn't run into a large group of American tourists walking down the street. 

By the time he reached the office he worked in, it as nine. Thirty minutes late and no way to sneak in. The boss wouldn't believe his excuse. It was too bizarre and there was no way he was going to tell anybody. Somehow he managed to slip into his cubicle without anybody noticing. So far so good.

"Hey, Sumeragi-san," said a voice in the next cubicle. "Rough night?"

Subaru looked up and glared at the speaker. "Can it, Yuuto," he growled. "I'm not in the mood to play."

Yuuto Kigai, the devil incarnate, grinned like a snake. "You know, Kanoe-sama won't be too happy. This is the fifth time in two weeks that you've been late without an excuse- oh, I'm sorry- a believable excuse. Usually it's three strikes, you're out."

"I'm quite aware of that, Kigai-san."

"I'm glad to hear that, Sumeragi-san," said a voice behind him.

Subaru shivered and shot another glare at Yuuto. The bastard must have been distracting him while Kanoe-sama came their way. '_Never trust blonde men,_' Subaru told himself. 

He then turned to Kanoe-sama, giving her the biggest grin a man like him could manage. "Good morning, Kanoe-sama," he chirped, or rather tried to chirp. "How are you today?"

Kanoe did not look too pleased. As a matter of fact, she looked pretty pissed. "Fine, but, Sumeragi-san, flattery won't get you anywhere this time." She sat down on his desk, crossing her long, lovely legs. She was wearing a rather low cut shirt under her suit jacket and a short skirt. Subaru could see her garter. "Sumeragi-san, why were you late?"

Before he could move to make an answer, Yuuto Kigai piped up. "Because his gay lover hog tied him in his sleep!"

Subaru blushed. Kanoe lifted an eyebrow. "Thank you, Kigai-san, but as true as your input may be, it is not needed. I want to hear Sumeragi-san's excuse." She turned back to Subaru. "So, why were you late, Sumeragi-san?" she purred.

The purr had a dangerous tone to it. Subaru gulped. He had a feeling that no matter what excuse he gave or how much he sucked up, he wouldn't be saved. "Um, well, you see, this group of American tourist-"

"No use," she said, cutting him off before he could finish. "Sumeragi-san, you've been late five times within two weeks. Our policy states that if an employee is late three times without a suitable excuse, we must let that employee go. Now, I've been lenient on you, considering your, um, situation…"

"Gay lover!" Yuuto said within a cough.

Kanoe shot him a glare, then went on. "As I was saying, given your situation and your grandmother's connections with us, I have been more lenient with you than I should have been, but this has to stop. Subaru Sumeragi, you're fired."

Subaru got a blank look on his face. Kanoe slid off his desk and leaned against the opening of his cubicle. "I expect you to be packed and out of here within two hours. If you are not, you will be escorted off of company grounds." With that she turned around and left. 

As she passed Yuuto, she smiled and winked at him. He grinned back. Turning to Subaru, he said, "You know, gay lovers are more demanding than heterosexual lovers."

"Shut up," Subaru muttered.

Yuuto pretended not to hear him. "If you were straight then maybe you wouldn't have been late. I can only imagine how demanding your 'life partner' is if you're always late to work."

Subaru looked him straight in the eye, giving the man his own patented death glare times ten. "Rat," he said.

"Fag," Yuuto retorted.

"Whore."

"Look who's talking!"

Kanoe stuck her head out of her office, which wasn't far from the two men's workstations. "I don't hear packing," she said sharply. She then retreated back into her office. '_Like a monster returning to its lair,_' Subaru reflected. 

Yuuto smiled smugly. Subaru glared at him.

**********

By eleven thirty, Subaru was back in his apartment complex. Karen Kasumi, the Soapland Hostess and one of the other occupants of the apartment complex, was sitting on the steps. Subaru remembered that she did not have to go to work until five in the afternoon, when the soaplands opened for all the businessmen who went there for "comfort". As he came up the stairs with a box in his hands, she gave him a sympathetic smile. 

"Rough day?" she asked.

He stopped and looked down at her. "Yeah," he managed to say. "I was fired."

Karen frowned. "Well, you know, you could always work at the soapland I host. You have a nice body." She grinned, hoping he would grin back at her as an acknowledgement to her joke.

Subaru sighed. "Thanks for the offer, but no thanks."

Karen shrugged. She had tried. "Well, I hope you find a job, Subaru-san. If you need help, I'll be here till five. I know a lot of businessmen," she said with a wink.

"I'll keep that in mind," Subaru told her. 

He then readjusted the box in his arms and continued his climb up the stairs. 

It was Karen's turn to sigh. He was such a nice, handsome man, but he really needed to loosen up. Too bad he was gay, though he wouldn't be the one to admit it readily. The first time Karen had met him a year ago, she had had her suspicions. Subaru was too quiet, too shy, too handsome, and he didn't have a girlfriend or seem to be on the rebound from a messy relationship. Then she had met Seishirou one night when she returned from her job. He had been carrying the small, drunken form of her fellow tenant in his arms. The next day, early in the morning, she watched him leave with a smirk on his face that told Karen he and the young Sumeragi had had some fun. 

She smiled at the memory. '_The cute guys and the nice men are always either gay or married.'_

*******************

The first thing Subaru did when he entered his apartment (other than take off his shoes) was check his answering machine. There were two messages- one from Seishirou, which he had already heard, and the other from his twin sister, Hokuto, telling him she and her husband were planning on visiting him and the family sometime soon.

Hokuto had been the wild child of the pair. When she was sixteen, she dropped out of school and married a man named Kakyou Kuzuki. The two of them then ran off to America, where they still lived. Nine years passed and their grandmother, who had raised them, still wouldn't speak with her and never returned her calls. Subaru had some resentment towards her too (when Hokuto left, he fell into a state of depression because it felt as if a part of him had left), but he at least spoke with her. 

It was good to hear his sister's voice. He would have to call her back some time and tell her what happened to him. She had always been a sympathetic ear that would listen. 

The next thing he did was change out of his work clothes and into something more comfortable- jeans and t-shirt. He then sat down at the kitchen table with the newspaper and searched the classified section for work. With a red pen, he circled the jobs that he had experience to apply for, whether he liked the idea of working the job or not. A job was a job and whatever would bring in the money was all that mattered. 

Around half past noon, there was a knock on his door. Subaru opened the door to find Seishirou Sakurazuka with a rather handsome smirk on his face. The older man stepped into the apartment and removed his shoes. 

"I'm off for the rest of the day," he told Subaru.

Subaru did not like the tone of his voice. It held something predatory to it. "That's nice," Subaru said dryly.

"So I was thinking-"

"Can't," Subaru replied before Seishirou could even finish.

Seishirou looked a bit taken back- just a bit- but he retained his normal cool composure. "Oh, and why not?" he asked.

Subaru walked over to the kitchen table and held up the classifieds. "Job-hunting," he replied.

The older man took the wall closest to the table. He folded his arms. "Hm. That rat at your work, Kigai-san, seemed to mention something along those lines briefly when I called to inform you that I would be here when you got home."

Subaru glared at Seishirou. "And do you know why I was fired?"

Seishirou just smirked. "I can guess," he replied. "You know, if you worked for me, Subaru-kun, you wouldn't be late everyday."

"No," the younger man replied quickly. "I have no experience and I'm pretty sure there's a clause somewhere prohibiting employees from dating one another."

"But we don't date, Subaru-kun. We sleep together."

"Same difference."

Seishirou casually removed himself from the wall and stood behind Subaru, looking over his shoulder at the classifieds. "What about this one?" he asked.

"Which one?"

Seishirou reached around Subaru and pointed to a small ad that the younger man had not circled. It was an ad asking for a full-time clerk at a bookstore not too far away. It wasn't any bookstore, though. It was an occult bookstore, specializing in books on witchcraft, fortune telling, and other things of the occult, which seemed to be the rage at the moment in Japan, being that it was 1999 and the end of a millennium. Subaru frowned. The thought of working in an occult bookstore was not appealing. He told Seishirou his thoughts on the matter.

"Why not?" Seishirou asked. "You would be making money and your family is rich anyhow. It's not like you're all that desperate and poor."

"I just don't want to work in a place that's fake," Subaru told him. "There is no such thing as magic. If I sold these people books on something that didn't exist, then I would feel guilty, as if I had ripped them off."

"Fantasy and science fiction don't exist, but people still buy those books," Seishirou pointed out.

"You know what I mean."

"What about the pleasure business? You would make a great soapland boy."

The glare Subaru set Seishirou with was enough to kill a lesser man. Seishirou chuckled nervously and backed away from the angry man, holding up his hands as a sign of surrender. Subaru glared at him for a few more seconds, then turned back to the classifieds. He sat down in the chair at the table and began to read over the entire page again, looking for ads he had missed. After a moment or two, Seishirou joined him, taking the chair across from him. 

"What about this?" Subaru asked. "They need an editor at Asuka magazine."

Seishirou gave him a skeptical look. "Can you even edit?" he asked.

"Yes. Editing isn't too hard."

"Asuka is a shoujo manga magazine," Seishirou told him. "Are you sure you're up to dealing with explicit shoujo mangas that feature the villain practicing forms of S&M on the main protagonist, written and drawn by female mangaka who have nothing better to do with their time than draw fanservice?"

Subaru gave him a strange, questioning look. "I'm sure not all of the mangas published in there are like that."

Seishirou nodded. "True…true…"

"Um, Seishirou-san, how long have you been reading Asuka?"

"Two years," replied Seishirou before he knew what he was saying.

"I see." He looked back down at the paper. "Maybe there's something else…"

*************************

Two hours and a few calls later, Subaru had an interview set for the next day at a company not far from where he used to work. The job he was interviewing for was a regular salaryman position, so there was no huge hype over it. A job was a job.

Seishirou was kind enough to not spend the night (with all that it applies). He left Subaru's apartment a little before five. Karen the soapland hostess was leaving, as well, only she was going to work. She grinned and wished Seishirou a good evening. He returned her good evening and began to walk in the opposite direction.

The rest of Subaru's night was mundane. He called Hokuto, but she wasn't home, so he left a brief message, telling her how he and everybody else were. He ended the message with a request for her to call him back sometime. He hung up the phone and went into the kitchen to make himself dinner, which was basically some microwaved edible substance that taste like cardboard. After his meal of cardboard, Subaru enjoyed a night to himself, watching television for a couple hours, then reading the rest of the newspaper. Around nine, he went to bed, having for the first time in two weeks a truly peaceful night's sleep.

***********************

It was a cool night and Seishirou was restless. Under a large, ancient cherry tree in Ueno Park, he smoked a cigarette, watching the nightlife pass. A couple of teenagers out on date probably there in the park to mess around, a few people walking their dogs, some drug dealers searching for customers, some lonely elderly people performing a daily routine- those were the type of people he saw passing by as he stood underneath the cherry tree. Taking a drag of his cigarette, he looked up at the sky through the branches of the tree. He couldn't see any stars. In a city like Tokyo, it was near impossible to see the stars. The glare of the electric lights blocked them out. 

"I should bring Subaru-kun here," he reflected out loud.

'_Perhaps then you can feed him to me,_' said a voice.

Seishirou was startled. "Who's there?" he asked.

'_You fool! It's me!_'

He made a face of confusion and looked around. "Where are you?"

'_Behind you_,' it said. 

Seishirou looked around the tree for the speaker but didn't find him. The speaker sighed. '_I'm the tree, you idiot._'

He paused and looked at the ancient tree. It wasn't possible for the tree to be speaking to him. Trees don't speak. He looked at the cigarette in his hand. It had to be something in the cigarette. He tossed the cigarette onto the pavement and walked away, opting to go home and take a nice bath or a shower. Maybe he'd even call Subaru-kun.

'_Moron_,' the Tree muttered.

**********************

It was a good day. Subaru had gotten the job he had gone in to interview for. He would be starting the next day. '_They must have been really desperate_,' Subaru reflected, remembering the eagerness the lady who interviewed him had. The company was small and new, specializing in marketing locks and other things used to seal things away- "Seals," the woman had told him. It beat out his old job any day, which currently was trying to market angelic merchandise. 

That night, Seishirou took him out to celebrate, which was not as bad as it implied. They went out to a nice restaurant and then back to Subaru's place. What happened after that was not good. Of course, after his fifth glass of wine, he would be damned if he remembered what happened next, or the rest of the night for that matter. Of course, when one wakes up tied down to the bed in a spread eagle position, it's best that the night not be remembered at all.

~Fin (for now)

Author's Notes:

I'm sorry if Yuuto is a bit OOC. I've never had to write for his character before. That was a fun scene to write, though, especially the insults Subaru and Yuuto threw at each other. Kanoe was actually fun to write. I don't believe her to be as horribly slutty as she is in other people's fanfics, so I made her a more respectable character than what one would expect in an AU fanfic such as this one.

Karen's first scene was a joy for me to write. She's one of my favourite characters in X/1999. I hope I did her justice.

As usual, writing for Seishirou was a blast. I couldn't resist sticking in the Tree and his reaction ^^ 

The thing with the two companies marketing "Seals" and "Angels" is a very lame joke, yes I know. It was something that couldn't be resisted. 

Catch the CLAMP reference?

Well, until Chapter Two!


End file.
